Job / Volunteer

Hi 

I am Trinesha Davis the Lead Directory of The Mace Anthony Williamson Foundation. I feel honored to be a part of this Movement that helps give a voice to the mothers and their babies because I am one of those mother’s and my son Josias Christopher was one of those babies. January 2017 after realizing what I thought was a stomach virus was actually a baby I was 5 weeks and excited. But the experience was not as magical as I hoped it would be. Out of the maybe 7 appointments I had I never saw the same doctor. They never discussed when I expressed concerns about the weird pains I felt and I always felt dismissed and unheard. Not only were the doctors doing it but family members that already had children were invalidating what I said and felt. I was always told “That baby the size of a plum you’re not feeling anything” “Your a hypochondriac”

At 2am 04/07/17 I awoke in a puddle of blood and in a lot of pain. Although Living 10 minutes away from the hospital I was not seen till after 4am. I was 16 weeks pregnant and had never seen my son on an ultrasound till then. His Heartbeat was strong he was moving around and I thought everything was going to be ok. At 6am a doctor finally seen me and said I would need a minor surgery because I was threatening a miscarriage. Just the sound of that word freaked me out and I started “peeing” on myself. I told a nurse I was peeing and she just looked at me and said no you’re not just lay back down. A doctor told me my water had broke and I was miscarrying and I’d have to deliver the baby. I was given two options continue on with the labor or wait a day to see if my fluids would fill back up. But that second option was given in a way that scared me into choosing to have him. Its an everyday battle wishing and wondering what if I just waited and wasn’t scared into believing I’d die. I wish I had an Organization like The MAW Foundation that would help me be heard, and give me resources and access to someone who cares about me and my child.

After pushing my son out his umbilical cord detached from my placenta and a doctor made a comment that I was going lose him regardless. My placenta had to be surgically removed so I didn’t see my son till hours after I had him. Idk what felt worse feeling like I was being rushed to leave the hospital without my son or actually leaving the hospital without him.

My issues with how I was being treated by doctors didn’t end when I left the hospital. I had concerns and questions on how I just woke up lost my child. Why did the doctor say I would’ve lost him anyways? And the answer I got was “It just happens”. I wanted to know if I did something wrong, was it a medical issue, or what could I have done differently, but I got no answers.

The coping was a long and hard process that I still deal with 4 years later. My relationship was strained because my significant other didn’t know how to help me and I couldn’t help myself. Returning to work was very hard because there were 5 other expecting coworkers and that’s were I experienced a switch from grief to jealousy. Although short lived it was there the feeling of unfairness, And devastation and anger that I felt after one told me I didn’t get to celebrate Mother’s Day because I wasn’t a mother. I almost chose violence that day and lost my job. I dealt with a Facebook troll using my sons death against me over a difference in opinion.

The hardest thing about coping is the ignorant things people say, and how they are unaware they hurt you. All the “You’re young you’ll have more” “ It was Gods plan” “God needed him more” etc. only made things worse. It’s a day by day process but with time and friends that have dealt with similar things it has gotten better.